Saturday, August 29, 2009

How I got to Baghdad


First things first. YDS apologizes profusely for his extended absence. Ending my former job and moving to a new one proved to be more stressful than I anticipated and stress has an unfortunate side effect of sapping my motivation to write. I also discovered Facebook, so a lot of my one-liners have ended up there, rather than here. I still plan to blog about Japan, so if you were hoping for that report, you’ll have to continue being patient, but it will come eventually.

But I digress. On to the topic at hand.

Perhaps you remember two summers ago, when the Foreign Service came under a great deal of criticism for its supposed failure to adequately provide enough volunteers for our missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. The press somehow gained access to an internal “town hall” which, like many of the town halls on medical reform, got somewhat ugly. The media coverage that followed gave my profession a pretty bad black eye. There are conspiracy theories about whether the entire happening was stage managed, but I have no intelligent opinion on that. I’m not generally a conspiracy theory type of blogger.

The missions were quickly full staffed after that and I like to think that our profession regained some respect by responding to the criticism (fair or not).

Anyway, it’s against that backdrop that I found myself in the center of the effort to make sure that the awkward moments of the Summer of 2007 were not repeated for the Foreign Service. Secretary Rice informed me (well, she had the Director General send me a letter) that she thought I would look cute in Iraq and that I had “special skills” that would be of good service.

I took a deep breath, that’s for sure. Even as things were improving in Summer of 2007 in Iraq, the previous months had been rocky, to say the least. Nonetheless, I accepted my Career Development Officer’s (CDO, perhaps better known as Career Destruction Officer) offer of a cup of coffee to discuss what it really meant to get the letter.

As it turns out, it did not really mean that I had to go to Iraq. At least not necessarily this time around. But as he put it, “The Embassy in Iraq is a big place and takes lots of people serving there. The Foreign Services is not all that many people.” If you take out the people who are medically unable to serve in undeveloped countries, the numbers shrink further. In other words, many if not most Foreign Service Officers are going to have to serve in Iraq or Afghanistan at one time or another. So it became a question of not so much if, but when? And if I was going to go, would it be when I decided or when the Department decided?

In other words, I could kick the can down the road, but it was going to stay in the road.

Other factors were at work as well. To be close to Skippy Jr., I had served two tours in Washington DC. The Foreign Service requires that Officers go abroad after five years in the States. So if I was going to take another two year tour in DC, I would have had to seek a waiver based on my family circumstances. It was probably mostly an administrative exercise, but there that was. A tour in Iraq would allow that clock to be reset after only one year abroad and away from Skippy Jr, as opposed to the ordinary three year tour.

The next and perhaps more important factor was the current compensation package. With Congress still throwing money at Iraq and Afghanistan, the Department had (and still has) significant ability to put together very attractive compensation packages for Officers willing to serve in Iraq. The details are somewhat dry, but suffice it to say that not only will I be making very close to twice of my salary in DC with virtually no expenses. On top of that, the Department will pay for three trips home during the one year tour--a benefit enjoyed only by Officers in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The kicker, and the benefit most likely to go away soon, was the ability to link my assignment in Iraq to virtually whatever assignment I chose. With an eye toward being close to Skippy Jr. again as quickly as possible, I chose a job in the training division of the Department, teaching new consular officers how to be consular officers. It is a job that I thought from my first weeks with the Foreign Service, “Man, I’d like to do that.”

With all of that, the negatives were still there. Iraq is dangerous. There’s no getting around that. But the Department has more security here than anywhere else in the world, and their only concern is keeping all of us safe. They’re smart and good at their jobs, and I trust them.
The other main negative was being away from Skippy, Jr. That was (and is) a big deal for me.

But it isn’t the Dark Ages. The telephone in my apartment has a US commerical number. There’s email. I’ve set up a blog just for him to read. I’ve Skype’d with him twice. (Is that a word yet? It will be soon.) We should be on Skype again here this afternoon. And the three trips home, with the extra income, will be big fun trips. There’s a family gathering for Thanksgiving in Sandbridge. There’s the Disney cruise at the end of February. And for the third trip home, we’ll visit family and friends on the Cape and in the Hamptons (huh-ha! Fancy!)

It’s a good decision. It’s the right decision. But it was still a hard decision.

YDS

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Off to Japan...


With mixed emotions. I’m not really sure what to think exactly about a 13 hour and 45 minute flight, first of all. Sounds like a physical challenge that I’d rather not take on. I was restless and anxious after my last cross country flight to Yuma, Arizona, so I’m definitely worried about the additional oh, EIGHT hours that this flight will be.


I think perhaps also that I have completely over thought this trip (big surprise there). It’s a business trip and in the run up to the trip there was a lot of pressure on me to produce a not insignificant amount of work product to get my boss’s boss’s boss ready for the work that we’ll do there. The work is done now, so that pressure should have gone away, but I’ve been thinking about it for so long that I haven’t quite been able to let go of it yet. Soon I hope. If I don’t let go of it entirely after I get back from Japan, I’ll seriously consider getting back into counseling.


But probably deeper than the work related stuff--and that runs pretty deep--is a real ambivalence about Asia in general and Japan in particular. Where that comes from I’m not exactly sure. I have incredible curiosity about parts of our Earth. Europe, especially, even the dangerous parts, I want to see and learn about and experience. South America. Absolutely. Even Central America and most of Africa. But Asia? Not so much.

Did I buy into the inscrutable Asian stereotype as a kid? Have I watched too many World War II movies with ruthless Japanese enemies? I don’t know.

I read James Clavell’s Shogun when I was young (probably too young given some of the descriptive erotic scenes--the term “time of the clouds and rain” sticks in my head) and gained an admiration for the ceremony and tradition of Japanese society. Yet when I think of Tokyo and its millions and millions of people, when the image of Shibuya crossing, with what looks like a hundred thousand people crossing the road under the glare of five story tall neon signs for huge department stores and hit movies, I cringe a bit. Too many people, I think. Too close together. It seems claustrophobic and frightening.

Will it really be that way? Will I hate it as much as I expect?

Stay tuned to YDS.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

In case anyone was wondering ...


I can confirmed that "air quotes" are still out and should stay out. There is just no way to make your point (or even tell a joke) using them without looking like a tool.


Please make a note of it.

Friday, May 15, 2009

On Aging ...


I realized ... that if I keep my hair cut short, I'll have less gray hair.


Simplistic, perhaps, but hard to argue.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

A comic for Greg





And this is why I get my news from The Daily Show.

Go On and Kiss the Girl

Another softening of a story hit me as particularly disturbing yesterday. As you know, faithful reader, I have a weakness for pop music and Colbie Callait and Ashley Tisdale both rerecorded "Kiss the Girl" from Disney's The Little Mermaid. It's a good song, and both versions are fun and made their way onto my iPod. But as I was listening to the Colbie Callait version, it struck me how far from Hans Christen Anderson's original the Disney story had strayed.



Never mind that Ariel can walk without feeling like swords were stabbing her, like in the original, but if the mermaid can't get her true love to reciprocate by kissing her (or marrying her), then not only will she have sacrificed her 300 year long mer-life, but also any chance at an immortal soul.



So, when Colbie and Ashley sing:
Sha la la la la la ain't that sad
Ain't it a shame, too bad
He gonna miss the girl

They're really underplaying the stakes for Ariel.



I mean, jeez, she's about to end up as sea foam! Shouldn't there be more urgency than "ain't it a shame?"

Or maybe, again, it's just a pop song.

Oh, and don't get me started on what a mistake Ashley Tisdale made "fixing" her nose....

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Onion is my hero



KFC Introduces New Bird-Flu Dipping Vaccine

Seriously, how do I get a job writing for those guys? Either that or writing for The Daily Show would be my dream job. Although I bet The Daily Show pays better.